Friday, June 10, 2011

the act

Sweat was trickling down her neck as if a drop of red wine slipped down the neck of a dark coloured bottle and gradually all the way down the smooth glass (a bottle which had just been stripped of it’s old withering label). The room lay heavy with the sweet smell of sweat mingled with that of overhanging smell of smoke of some cheap pack of cigarettes which lies empty under the ruffled bed. This smell of smoke I am not exactly in favour of, for me it dilutes the effect of the act of making love. It just reminds me of this whole thing being a cheap act of love. Well, one has to bear that smell as it was not a part of the deal to get a non-smoker tonight. And to top it all after the negotiations I made to get the best deal for the night, I doubt I have the right to ask for favours of asking her not to smoke. Though lot of people maybe in favour of smokers this is not about anyone else but about me. Otherwise the whole act was perfect. She almost made me believe that it was not “paid for” but as if she was making love for real. Tomorrow she will be acting the same act with another man like me.
The night is yet not over and it’s all paid for. Whats the point of lying next to her and watch her while she is half asleep, her warm body in a warm summer night. tomorrow she will be with another one playing the same act. or should i just let go and fall in love even if it’s for just for the night, why be scared of the morning to come. tonight she is mine. her body, her love all is mine.
i know it’s not true but still i’m imagining as if i saw love in those eyes. i know i am drunk and imagining. have paid for the body not those eyes. maybe that’s the way she satisfies her clients to make an extra buck. tomorrow she will act the same cheap act in yet another cheap hotel with another one like me.
couldn’t stop went closer held her tight, as if inseparable in love. atleast tonight she is mine. she lies motionless. soundless as if there is no end to the silent night. tomorrow she will act the same old act with another man looking for love at a lower price. her sweat has mixed with mine as i hold her tight. i know i am wrong but still felt as if she kissed me softly on the back of my hand as i lay still, half asleep holding her tight. the fan hanging from the ceiling makes this creaking noise mixed with the train passing by. no clue when i went off to sleep. slept as if i sleeping in the arms of my lover.


He held me tight as if he was scared of losing me tonight. i know i am imagining that he kissed me softly on my neck before he slept that night. his body was shivering as he came close to me that hot summer night. hope he gets the best out of the night. he has paid me for my body still i can imagine love in those tired dark eyes.
i know he wants nothing but value for his penny. still i believe it to be love though it’s just for the night. i hate cigarettes but no harm if that makes him feel good to be with a cheap whore in a cheap smoke filled night. i am happy to have my make belief love for atleast one night. tomorrow he will be in another motel with another woman paying her for another smoke filled act of cheap love.

i woke up early in the morning to realise she is already gone. checked my wallet to be sure she left with only what the deal had been, since a deal is a deal. though i wish this was love for sake the of love and not money.


i walked out in the morning before he would get up, didn’t want him to see love in my eyes. i wish this was love for sake the of love and not money. hope i meet him another night and we end up in another act of love.

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